Busting Out

I mean that not only in terms of my clothing due to a recent growth spurt, but also due to the fact that I might very well be leaving the hospital soon! I basically broke down to my OB yesterday, and explained to her that I want a healthy baby, but I also want to be able to provide for him once he arrives. Seeing as I'm the only person working in our household at the moment (and I get no maternity leave/short term disability/etc) I kind of can't just sit here idly. I have a mortgage to pay, circumcision to save for, etc.

She is honestly scared of my baby dying. She really is concerned about my bodys ability to regulate stress & blood sugars outside a hospital setting. She was concerned because SOMETHING about the hospital my body likes, since my numbers have been good.

But she also understands my concerns and desires to not lose my job, not lose my home, etc.

She set up a meeting with the nurse from the Diabetes center and I met with her earlier. We went over the foods I've been eating here, carb counts etc so that I can take that information home to use if I want to.

I'm going to be on a very short leash. I have to limit my work to 4hrs a day, and I'm on modified bed rest for the rest of the day. I can use the bathroom, cook, etc. but I have to spend the majority of my day sitting and relaxing. I have a very short amount of time to prove myself and my ability to keep my body under control while I'm out. She hasn't given me an amount of days, etc. but she is very concerned about my sugars skyrocketing and my baby dying because of it. I can't help but be scared of that, but I'm hoping with VERY CAREFUL monitoring on my part, and a lot of prayers from family and friends we can pull this off. As of right now Aidan is in there rolling around having a grand time. He seems like a happy baby, based on the way he acts in utero.

A nurse just came in and said I have to test my sugar on my own meter while she watches, so she can document that I know how to use it, etc and then she's going to call my OB and let her know so the process of being discharged can be started. Looks like I might get to sleep in my own bed tonight.

I'm so hopeful, but I'm also so scared. I really hope I'm making the right choice for my child. I wish I was rich and could sit here and not worry, but if I want to be able to have a home to bring my child home to I need to work at least a little bit, even if it's only 4 hrs a day.