Picture!

This is me in all of my bed raggled glory. I look hungover and exhausted, but that's just because I've had a ton of Braxton Hicks this morning and I've been cramping a lot. I'm also at work so I'm really not in the best mood, but I'm trying!

Depending on which due date you use, I'm either 37 weeks today, or 35w5d. I will assume 37 weeks since I've been blogging using my adjusted due date, and not my original due date.

How far along? 37 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +20 total
Maternity clothes? About 95%
Stretch marks? No new ones!
Sleep: Still sleeping like the dead.
Best moment this week: Reaching 37 weeks!!!!!! Having an OB checkup and being able to stay out of the hospital!!
Movement: Kicks, nudges, rolls, and flips the majority of the day.
Food cravings: Pasta, bread.. pretty much anything I can't have much of. LOL
Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks, and random cramping.
Belly Button in or out? Definitely out.
What I miss: Being able to do a lot of things in one day without cramping/swelling/aching.
What I am looking forward to: Being induced in about 2 weeks!
Weekly Wisdom: Don't take things forgranted. Not really baby related, but good advice either way.
Milestones: Being full term, and knowing I'm having a baby in about 2 weeks!

Averages

Lets play averages, shall we?

These are my average sugars since I've been out of the hospital:

Fasting: 100.0
After Breakfast: 105.0
After Lunch: 118.1
After Dinner: 115.3

Compared to my previous numbers, I've managed to lower my numbers quite a bit.

I lowered my fastings by about 28.5 points. My breakfasts by about 12 points, lunches by about 18 points, and dinners by a whopping FIFTY POINTS!

It's insane, and I have no real explanation other than my original meal plan was wrong, and through a bunch of tweaking I've gotten quite far. The only number that isn't averaging out quite right is my fasting number (should be under 90 ideally) but my OB is content with an average of 100.. it's close, and my other numbers are well controlled.

Today has been a little hectic. I worked from 8-12, then I came home with a killer headache. I vegged out for a while, then I got up and made myself lunch. A big cheeseburger on a wheat bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, and ketchup with a side salad with diet 1000 island dressing. Mmm! Then I cleaned up bits of trash throughout the house, swept, did dishes, did a load of laundry.. now I'm sitting here about to eat my mid day snack, and then I'm going to take a shower, wash my hair, shave, etc. After that comes dinner decisions, I really want to cook something but we need to go to the grocery store!

I haven't been nesting cleaning wise, I'm just barely keeping up with maintaining house, but COOKING! OMG COOKING! I NEVER COOK. EVAR. But I've been cooking at least twice a day for the past week, and I can't get enough of it. I surf diabetes safe, low carb recipes and plan my meals in advance. It's crazy! I will admit I'm loving it, and so is Mike. He's appreciating the time off, since he was the designated chef of the house before. He really likes my garlic herb chicken, which of course made me super happy because I usually never cook.

Tonight I think we're going to watch The Orphan. I'm really freaked out by the idea of the movie, so I hope it's a good one! It's perfect timing too, with Halloween right around the corner.

Anyway, I'm going to go motivate some more and get some things done. In another hour or so I'll be busted out tired and not want to do anything else!

Time Is Flying

Time has resumed it's previous hauling ass-ness, same as before I was admitted to the hospital. I have roughly 2.5 weeks left of being pregnant. What? Since I'm being induced at 38 weeks, that could be as little as 19 days from now, depending on what day in my 38th week I'm induced. Holy cow!! I guess my OB is using my original due date (11/30) when scheduling my induction, because according to my adjusted due date (the most recent one I was given) 38 weeks would fall on 11/07! I'll take that extra 9 days for Aidan to bake in there happily.

My numbers are still good. I had a little scare yesterday, my fasting number was 116, which isn't even close to under 90 like it's supposed to be. I had a migraine really bad the night before and didn't sleep well though, so I think that might have contributed to it being a little elevated. Today it was back to normal, and things are going okay.

My biggest complaint of the moment is my absolute laziness. I work 4 hours a day, come home, sit on the couch with my laptop, and vegitate. All. Day. Long. I mean I KNOW I'm supposed to be on bedrest, that's the whole point! It's just so unlike me. Luckily Mike doesn't bat an eyelash at my laziness, he is HAPPY I'm sitting on my butt growing a big healthy baby.

My biggest physical complaint is that my legs and pelvic region feel like they are at risk of being snapped in half like a Thanksgiving wishbone. Every step I take sends shockwaves up my hips and into my "lady area" that reverberate around in there and I feel like Barbie, with some silly child pulling her legs apart until one pops out of the socket. I'm still sleeping fantastic, thank you all that is holy! I am a big grumpers when I don't sleep well. I know I still have time left, but usually women have trouble sleeping by now. I guess I'm just really good at adapting to things like a big belly in the way ;)

I guess that's pretty much it for an update. I sat in the nursery yesterday in the rocking chair for about 2 hours, just looking around and noticing the details of the room and I sifted through his clothes, all so tiny and precious, handpicked with love. And I might of gotten a little misty eyed. Third trimester hormones are in full swing with me, but I'm keeping them under wraps pretty well. :)

GD Update

Well, my numbers have been okay since I've been out.

And working 4 hours a day is kind of awesome. I'm so tired all the time, and it gives me time to do household things, take naps, etc. My stress level is WAY down from what it was before my hospital stay. I'm really grateful for my boss letting me work only 4 hours a day. In my job, there is no part time. It's overtime all the time, or no time. LOL. Luckily my boss is great!

I had one scare yesterday, I had a turkey sandwich on wheat, with lettuce, tomato, onion, and light mayo for lunch and my test number was 226!! After I picked myself up off of the floor (not literally, but almost!) I retested with a different finger and it was 119. A MUCH more reasonable number.

And I called in my refill for my prescription for my test strips, and they won't be available until Monday! I have enough to last until then, but only 3 strips extra. Hopefully I don't have too many times when I have to double test like yesterday, or else I'll run out!

I'm so grateful for the way things are. My cats are thrilled to have me home, and it's so nice to be able to snuggle with Mike again. Hospital bed + me + pregnant belly = not much room for Mike!

Thank you everyone for your well wishes, I can certainly feel them and I am using them as best I can, taking it one day at a time. :)

Busting Out

I mean that not only in terms of my clothing due to a recent growth spurt, but also due to the fact that I might very well be leaving the hospital soon! I basically broke down to my OB yesterday, and explained to her that I want a healthy baby, but I also want to be able to provide for him once he arrives. Seeing as I'm the only person working in our household at the moment (and I get no maternity leave/short term disability/etc) I kind of can't just sit here idly. I have a mortgage to pay, circumcision to save for, etc.

She is honestly scared of my baby dying. She really is concerned about my bodys ability to regulate stress & blood sugars outside a hospital setting. She was concerned because SOMETHING about the hospital my body likes, since my numbers have been good.

But she also understands my concerns and desires to not lose my job, not lose my home, etc.

She set up a meeting with the nurse from the Diabetes center and I met with her earlier. We went over the foods I've been eating here, carb counts etc so that I can take that information home to use if I want to.

I'm going to be on a very short leash. I have to limit my work to 4hrs a day, and I'm on modified bed rest for the rest of the day. I can use the bathroom, cook, etc. but I have to spend the majority of my day sitting and relaxing. I have a very short amount of time to prove myself and my ability to keep my body under control while I'm out. She hasn't given me an amount of days, etc. but she is very concerned about my sugars skyrocketing and my baby dying because of it. I can't help but be scared of that, but I'm hoping with VERY CAREFUL monitoring on my part, and a lot of prayers from family and friends we can pull this off. As of right now Aidan is in there rolling around having a grand time. He seems like a happy baby, based on the way he acts in utero.

A nurse just came in and said I have to test my sugar on my own meter while she watches, so she can document that I know how to use it, etc and then she's going to call my OB and let her know so the process of being discharged can be started. Looks like I might get to sleep in my own bed tonight.

I'm so hopeful, but I'm also so scared. I really hope I'm making the right choice for my child. I wish I was rich and could sit here and not worry, but if I want to be able to have a home to bring my child home to I need to work at least a little bit, even if it's only 4 hrs a day.

Hospital

I've been in the hospital since Thursday, October 15th. I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND. My OB FREAKED over my 1 time fasting sugar of 182 and had me admitted immediately leaving her office. Basically they aren't even doing anything for me. I'm picking my own foods, and my numbers are fine. They are testing my sugars, but I was doing that anyway. Basically they determined the stress of working, etc, was causing my sugars to jump way up.

My numbers have been low 100s and even 90s since I've been here, but yesterday I got fed up and cried half the afternoon away. My number last night was 156. Stress = high number.

I'm trying to finagle a way to get out of this damn hospital. Whether it be cutting back work hours, being on bedrest AT HOME, etc. I will literally do anything she asks but I refuse to stay in here.

She has flat out told me she's keeping me until I deliver (aka be induced, since she said 38 weeks is the magic number). I'm sorry, I've been here 5 days and you expect me to stay another 3 weeks?! No thanks, Dr Lady. No thanks.

Cross your fingers for me. I am asking her today if she'll have an endocrinologist come see me so me and the endo can come up with a plan (whether it involves insulin or not, as I'm currently completely off insulin and my numbers are fine!) that I could take HOME and use OUTSIDE.

Oh, and did I mention that I went FIVE DAYS without internet because no one felt fit to tell me that my hospital has free wifi? Yeah, my nurse was like "oh, are you online?" and I said no, and she was like "I can get you the wifi password and login, it's free".

It was like God sent this woman to my bedside.

Straight From Dietician's Mouth

Well, after today's insane fasting number of 182, I called my dietician to see what, if any, changes I should be making to my diet. I faxed meal logs, and sugar logs, and she reviewed them.

My meals are perfect, I'm meeting nutritional guidelines, and not going over on sugar or carbs at all. My numbers are indeed too high (I've only had 6 sugar levels within range in 1 weeks time) and so tomorrow when I meet with my OB I'm either being put on an increased dose of N insulin at night (currently 20 units), or more likely increasing my night time dose of N, and I'll start taking R during the days.

Hmm.

At least I know my insane numbers aren't due to my diet. I was really stressed because my OB said a lot of women are non compliant with the diet aspect, and end up hospitalized and the GD regulates with diet control in the hospital. At least I know (according to my dietician) that my diet is not the cause, and even if she DID hospitalize me, my numbers most likely wouldn't get any better based on diet alone.

Big update, not quite what I was hoping for (diet is easier to fix, and I was hoping to avoid more insulin) but at least it's answers.

Well Darn

Today's fasting blood sugar was 189!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I obviously didn't take my walk last night. I had what I can assume were Braxton Hicks? Maybe? But some serious abdomen cramping/contracting going on. So I laid my big booty on the couch and then I wake up to see this number! I almost fell face first off my couch. I mean last nights after dinner number was a bit elevated (155) considering all I had was a can of Minestrone soup (38g carbs, I'm supposed to have 45g at dinner, so I didn't go over).. but I definitely did NOT expect such a high number. That's the highest it's ever been. I woke Mike up to double check that I took my insulin last night (hello, pregnancy brain!) and he said I did, so I don't know!

I have a call into my dietician, though, because I realllllly don't want to end up in the hospital over this. And my OB rescheduled my appt for tomorrow instead of today. I guess she has to deliver a baby this morning, and she wants to meet with me personally, and not have me just meet with a nurse. It's kind of hitting me that she considers me high risk, since before the GD it was no big deal for me to just see a nurse in her place.

I feel really stupid for getting my hopes up yesterday. I really feel like my body is failing me, and it's super frustrating.

Hmm

I hesitate to say this, but I think my sugars might be regulating a little bit? Yesterday was pretty good (I managed to get 2/4 checks within range) and this morning my fasting number was the lowest it's ever been (107). So even though things still aren't GOOD, they are improving a little bit as time goes on. This gives me hope that when I go to my OB tomorrow she won't just throw me in the hospital!

34 Wks + Nursery Photos

How far along? 34 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +20 total
Maternity clothes? About 95%
Stretch marks? No new ones!
Sleep: The past week I've slept like the dead.
Best moment this week: Starting insulin I guess, trying to get my sugars under control.
Movement: Kicks, nudges, rolls, and flips the majority of the day.
Food cravings: Pasta, bread.. pretty much anything I can't have much of. LOL
Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Popped out at least 85% of the day.
What I miss: Being able to do a lot of things in one day without cramping/swelling/aching.
What I am looking forward to: Reaching 37 weeks!
Weekly Wisdom: Sometimes the best laid plans can be foiled by your body. Don't get discouraged, just react and keep fighting.
Milestones: Being only 3 weeks away from full term, and 6 weeks away from my due date!

We worked diligently on the nursery this weekend. We had all of our stuff, just not really organized. We got it pretty much completed this weekend. The only 3 things missing are the lamp (being delivered this week), the rug (being ordered this week), and Aidan (on his way soon enough!)!! I took some pictures if anyone is interested!


The wall letter stickers & decorative stickers that match the bedding.

Really cute baby toy/blankie that currently lives on the handle of the car seat (which is covered with a blanket because my cats LOVE the car seat for some reason).
Bouncer..
Comfort corner. LOL. Rocking chair, with the comforter from the crib set on the back, and a baby blanket on the seat. Boppy pillow, too.

Dresser packed with clothes, stroller folded up, baby bather, bath items, etc.
Swing!
Adorable sign we got at our shower
Wall letter stickers over the closet doors
Pooh Bear found our travel crib we set up, luckily she's already bored with it and hasn't touched it since.
Surprise! My big fat feet after a 10 hour work day. Mind you I have an office, sit down job. I couldn't imagine if I was on my feet all day! Notice the ROLLS on my feet. That's the epitome of sexy right there.


So moving on, my blood sugars still aren't under control. I'm trying my best not to stress out (read somewhere stress can adversely effect blood sugar), eat according to meal plan, and keep track. I have a catch up phone appointment with my dietician this Wednesday, and another appointment with my OB on Wednesday, too. Hopefully my numbers will average out a little bit better this week than last week! I'm really, really hoping my OB will see that I'm TRYING and not send me packing my way to the hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy.

Anyway, I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my weekend! Hope everyone else is having a good weekend, too.

Insulin

Well yesterday I took to heart everything my dietitican reccomended, and I ate something every 2 hours. I didn't miss one single oppurtunity to put something in my mouth. LOL. My sugar was high yesterday morning (as expected, hence the insulin), but my day time numbers were perfect. Once I hit dinner time it jumped to 142 after dinner, but I took my insulin, had my bed time snack, and went to bed.

I woke at 3am to test, just to make sure the insulin hadn't dropped my sugar TOO low, and it was 149. Upon waking it was 141.

I had the same breakfast as yesterday, 1 piece of wheat toast with a dab of peanut butter. I was skeptical, but my nutritionist swears by that breakfast. So, I had it yesterday and my number was fine. I had it this morning, and my number was 141. I almost fell out of my chair. I will admit to shedding a couple tears of frustration.

I had my mid morning snack, and mozzarella string cheese, same as yesterday. I'm crossing my fingers that my number is a little better before lunch. I'm having a grilled chicken sandwhich with lettuce, tomato, and light mayo on wheat bread for lunch.

I went from dealing pretty good with GD to suddenly being really, really freaked out. I was fine until she mentioned hospital bedrest. My bills and my bank account can't afford that and it really has me freaking out. I know insulin takes a couple days to regulate in the body, so I'm hoping in about two days my numbers will decrease a bit.

OB Appt

Things went well. She put me on insulin, 20 units. But I don't know what times. I pick up my prescription tonight, and tomorrow afternoon I have a meeting with my diabetes nurse to set up an insulin schedule.

My OB was very concerned in general, and bumped my appointments up to once a week effective now. She said if my sugars aren't under control in about two weeks I will be forced into hospital bedrest so they can MAKE my blood sugar cooperate.

Not what I wanted to hear. I feel like this whole diabetes things went from 0-60 in about 2 seconds! I knew my numbers weren't good, but I thought some insulin would help that and things would be okay. Then next thing I know it she's mentioning hospital bedrest, and how I will only be pregnant a maximum of 5 more weeks because my placenta is already deteriorating a bit from the diabetes.

What? I mean I know I'm only 6.5 weeks from my due date, but 5 weeks (or sooner!) is really really soon. I guess I'm a bit freaked out.

And I'm really scared of the hospital bed rest, so I'm going to literally try any and everything possible to get everything under control. Which I was before, but I'll keep trying. I can't afford to sit in the hospital on IV insulin just so they can monitor me. I'm the only one of us who works! The bills wouldn't get paid. Not good.

I refuse to think any more about that. It won't come to that, hopefully.

33 Weeks + Dietician Appt

How far along? 33 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +20 total
Maternity clothes? About 95%
Stretch marks? No new ones!
Sleep: The past week I've slept like the dead.
Best moment this week: The plethora of movement he's been doing!
Movement: Kicks, nudges, rolls, and flips the majority of the day.
Food cravings: Pasta, bread.. pretty much anything I can't have much of. LOL
Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Popped out at least 85% of the day.
What I miss: Being able to do a lot of things in one day without cramping/swelling/aching.
What I am looking forward to: Reaching 37 weeks!
Weekly Wisdom: Sometimes the best laid plans can be foiled by your body. Don't get discouraged, just react and keep fighting.
Milestones: Being only 4 weeks away from full term, and 7 weeks away from my due date!

So I met with my dietician this morning. She is concerned about why my fasting sugars are always 30ish points higher than they should be. For this she's putting me on insulin at nights, to help the fasting sugars in the morning. She is giving me one week to try to finagle a way to get my lunch/dinner sugars down by tweaking my foods, and if they are still high then I will be put on insulin during the day, too. This really didn't turn out the way I had hoped.

I was about to cry in the office. I brought my food journal where I've logged every item of food I've eaten ever since I found out I had GD and she said I'm doing everything 150% correct, but my body just is NOT reacting to diet and exercise, so it's time to step it up. She said since I have so little time left we really need to step it up quicker than she would with other patients, because every week that goes by he's just getting bigger and bigger, and my sugars are getting higher and higher.

Boo.

At least I know I'm not doing anything wrong though. It's really nice to know that everything I'm doing is helping, just not enough.

So, I see my OB later this morning. I'm supposed to relay the message about the insulin. I'm not sure at what point I will be started on the insulin, but at least we have a plan of action.

Updates

Well tomorrow I see my dietician again, and then my OB later on in the morning. I'm glad, because my sugars are all out of whack.

I can eat a cup of peaches in light syrup and have a perfect sugar, and have a salad and it'll be over 200??

Definitely strange.

My average for last week was 128.5 fasting. 117 after breakfast. 136.2 after lunch. and 165.4 after dinner. Obviously not good.

Really irritating, and it makes me not even want to eat because things aren't as well under control as I'd hoped. I guess knowledge about diabetes doesn't neccesarily translate into my body DOING what it needs to do. Who knew :P

Dedication Does Not Always Equal Success

So despite my best efforts so far, the only time my blood sugars are within normal range is when I skip a meal entirely, and skip snacks. Even my fasting sugars first thing in the morning are too high.

It's frustrating to do everything 100% correct, and to know my body just can't conform to what needs to happen.

I'm not giving up, still trying new things, and trying my hardest to avoid medication if at all possible, though my OB doesn't seem to think it's looking very good at the moment.