So Sad. Try, Try, Try Again.. Right?

Went in for my 8 week ultrasound yesterday. No baby, no heartbeat. Just a gestational sac measuring 5 weeks. So all along that sac was causing my symptoms and bloat, but my baby never formed. I know it's a chromosome issue, nothing I did, nothing I could of done, etc. But I'm still so sad.

I fully intend to try again right away. I am just waiting now to miscarry on my own. I've been bleeding since yesterday, but it isn't severe, very mild. Not sure how long it could take. I am so ready to get pregnant, have a healthy, happy pregnancy, and get my take home baby.

7 Weeks!!

How far along: 7 weeks

How big is baby: a blueberry! 1/2 Inch

Weight gain: 3lb. Not quite as ravenous as last week, and I've been able to go a few hours without eating without feeling like I'm goign to die. Score one for me!

Maternity clothes: For comfort reasons, but not out of neccesity.

Stretch marks: no new ones!

Sleep: great! I love love love to sleep. I have very vivid dreams everynight but it doesn't bother me much.

Best moment this week: knowing I have only 5 days and a few hours until my first ultrasound!

Movement: not yet :)

Cravings: sweet tea & cheese

Gender: feeling boy

Labor signs: happy to say none!

Belly button: in

What i miss: not being moody

What im looking forward to: ultrasound in 5.5 days!

Weekly wisdom: I'm not feeling very wise today

Milestones: another week down with no spotting or anything negative at all happening. Thats all I pray for every night.

This are excellent over here! Feeling good. The bloat is finally going down a bit, and still no nausea. I am feeling very blessed here lately.

6 weeks!

Hi everyone!

How far along: 6 weeks
How big is baby: a sweet pea!
Weught gain: 3lb. This pregnancy is starting out like aidans.. Ravenous right off the bat! Hoping to slow that down.
Maternity clothes: ive been wearing a few shirts just for comfort, not neccesary yet of course.
Stretch marks: no new ones!
Sleep: still averaging 10 glorious hours a night. Lots of tossing and turning though. My hips are already getting sore at night!
Best moment this week: just turning six weeks, less time until my ultrasound!
Movement: im constantly moving, i have a two year old! Lol. No baby movement yet.
Cravings: sweet tea!
Gender: feeling boy
Labor signs: happy to say none!
Belly button: in
What i miss: nothing
What im looking forward to: ultrasound in 13 days!
Weekly wisdom: cliche, but try to relax. Im pregnant today.
Milestones: another week down with no spotting or anything negative at all happening. Thats all i pray for every night.

Im feeling good! Tired at the end of the day but nothing severe. No nausea. Some heartburn and breast tenderness. Overall im just on cloud 9 pretty much all the time. Feeling very blessed in this household.

Aidan had a pedi appt this morning for a flouride treatment, then mike brought him to my work. He had a blast charming everyone at my work. Love his little self so much!

5 Weeks

There I am in all of my bloated glory. Random people are already commenting on my pregnancy. Seriously. I think I need a girdle. Or to stop eating everything in sight. lol

Baby size: Apple seed!

How far along: 5 weeks

Total weight gain: +1

Sleep: My body is sore, I pee once a night, I wake up early and am restless- but it’s still good sleep.

Maternity Clothes: Not needed yet

Food cravings: carbs of any form!

Food aversions: Nothing off the top of my head

Symptoms: Heartburn, slightly increased urination, slight fatigue

Stretchmarks: No new ones!

Doctor’s Appointment: First ultrasound March 12th, and first OB appointment soon too, just waiting on a call back to set the date.

Movement: Not yet :)

Belly Button: In still

Gender: Who knows!

Best moment of the week: Being 5 weeks! Not much is getting me down lately.

What I’m looking forward to: My first ultrasound!

What I miss: Not too much, really. I'm just really grateful to be pregnant again.

I'm Back With News

Wordpress just wasn't what I thought it would be, and I'd all but quit blogging over there before I realized it was because I just hate the interface! So I'm back.

Aidan is 2 years, 2 months, and some days old. He is talking more, running around, and just generally being the best little boy ever. Love him to pieces.

Since the last time I was here I got pregnant again (August 29th I got my BFP). We packed up, moved to a bigger house, and then I started bleeding. I was diagnosed with a Subchorionic Hematoma at 9 weeks and I bled daily until I lost our angel at 15 weeks. It was just too much.

But we were in our new house, picked out for our family of 4 and suddenly we're back to a family of three. We made it through the first few weeks (thanks to Buspar for me, and beer for Mike, and Aidan snuggles for both of us). Once I got my cycle back we wanted to try again, so we did.

And on February 12th, 2012 I got this:

Due October 23rd, 2012! Now let us just hope for a healthy one this time, okay?? I'm only 4w1d right now, but I'm way too excited to keep it a secret. I'm so excited to be starting this journey again!



4 Weeks:

How far along? 4 Weeks 1 Day

Total weight gain/loss: 0 - I'm enjoying this number while I can!

Sleep: I can't get enough. The exhaustion hit early this time. I'm yawning all day, and by 9pm if I'm not in bed I am literally falling asleep on the couch!

Best moment this week: Getting my BFP! Even though we had been trying, it's still a shock to see it happen so quickly.

Movement: Just gas bubbles moving around in there ;)

Symptoms: Hungry all the time, tired, heartburn.

Food cravings: No cravings yet!

Food aversions: None yet.

Gender: No idea!

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing

What I am looking forward to: First ultrasound March 12th to see the heartbeat!

Weekly Wisdom: RELAX! Worrying accomplishes nothing.

Milestones: Umm... getting pregnant! lol

I've Moved

I swore I had updated this but Blogger must have eaten my post, which is a big part of the reason I moved to Word Press! By all means come on over and check us out. I've missed all my blog buddies!

http://www.anewnicole.wordpress.com

Christmas Card Time Has Arrived

I'm a little behind the ball this year, but it's time to think about Christmas cards already!

I normally send out generic cards that I pick up at the store, but this year we are wanting to do photo cards to show family and friends what Aidan looks like now that he's one year old!

We have used Shutterfly multiple times in the past. We've ordered calendars, we ordered our birth announcements through them, and of course we've ordered prints as well. I've never had anything bad to say about Shutterfly, so of course when I saw their Christmas Photo Cards it didn't take much to twist my arm into wanting to order from them.

I've been looking around for a while now and I can't figure out which type I should get!

(Source)
Option 1: This would of course have a picture of Aidan front and center!

(Source)

Option 2: This could be either a family shot, or a single shot. I was thinking more family style, as shown above.

Both are 5x7 cardstock, and I just know they will be wonderful quality if my past experiences with Shutterfly have anything to say about it! I do believe I prefer the folded card, just so I can personalize each card without having to include a seperate note for each, but I'm leaving it up to you guys! Any preferences about which one I should get? Any ideas on what type of photo I should use in my cards?

Aidan is One!

Got a cool new Cozy Coupe!

Dressed up in Toys R Us

He was THRILLED when we told him it was his birthday.

Playing with a new toy his grandma got him.

Eating some squash!

Always a ham for the camera

Opening gifts at his party

Even a busy toddler stops to smell the roses sometimes :)

Hamming it up. He LOVES everyone, would go to a stranger on the street if they tried to pick him up. He's not shy at all.

A nice shot of his semi busted lip. He misjudged the distance between to places and face planted.

New Pictures

Aidan's 10.5 months now, and oh boy is he a handful! He's always into everything, but it's so cute it's easy to not get frustrated. He's truly inquisitive about the world around him, and it's awesome to see him learn how things work. His big brown eyes just light up when he discovers something new!

He had his first real playdate with a friend close to his age. They played nice the whole time!

He loves it when his daddy lays on the floor with him to play before bedtime.

He's teething so he loves to chew on everything, including bottles of Gripe Water.

You can see 2 teeth here, but he has 4 more hiding up top!

He loves his puffs, and they stick to him if he isn't wearing a shirt ;)

10 Month Letter

Dear Aidan,

I have no idea where to start! You're 10 months old now. I swear I feel simultaniously like I've known you all my life and that you just got here. Such conflicting emotions but I guess every mom feels that. You do new things every single day, so I'll make a laundry list of them in the interest of quickness:

• You walk, kind of. You hold 1 handed onto anything and everything and haul butt across the room. Hands, walls, couches, etc.
• You say mama, dada, baba, buhbye, and hey
• You eat everything. Pizza, pasta, etc etc etc. We feed you veggies and all sorts of healthy items but in reality you want whatever we are eating, and we give you bits of it not only to keep you from screaming but to expose you to plenty of foods!
• You FINALLY mastered thumb-pointer finger grip. You still prefer to SHOVEL food into your mouth but you're just an enthusiastic eater and I love that about you.
• Favorite foods are still anything apple, pastas, breads, any fruits, carrots, broccoli, okay... everything! LOL
• You are in size 4 diapers, 12 or 18 month clothing.
• Your favorite toys right now are your Fisher Price music learning table, Fisher Price Roll Along Bongo Drums, and any and everything you can fit into your mouth
• You have 6 teeth. 4 up top, 2 on bottom and you are most definitely working on some more.

And really, I couldn't love you any more than I do. You're simply the most awesome baby ever. Your great great gram passed away this week, and you were an angel (maybe her angel!) every time I took you to see her. You were quiet and respectful and you smiled at me while I cried for her. At the funeral today you kept yourself quiet and when I showed her to you in her casket you reached out and tried to eat the roses she was clutching. You fell asleep in your stroller and while you were awake you literally stole the show. Everyone wanted to love on the "most adorable baby ever".

You have the most amazing personality ever, and everyone can see it. Thank you for giving me the honor of being your mother.

I love you,

Mama

9 Month Letter

2 weeks late, as usual. Mommy is just way too busy sometimes!

My dear Aidan,

You're now 9 months old. You are 21 lbs. 30 inches long. When we took you to your 9 month well-check you had a double ear infection! I'm so happy we went because you weren't showing any signs at all. No fever or fussiness or tugging at your ears. I guess you're too tough for an ear infection to get you down!

You are steadily growing. Size 4 diapers, 12-18 month clothing.

You're favorite activity right now is cruising the furniture, I swear one day you're just going to let go and toddle across the room! You've also discovered that you can push your bumbo chair in front of the couch and then CLIMB on top of it to climb up on the couch. Unfortunately you still try to climb off of the couch face first.. so we are always on our toes!

You're favorite foods are.. well, anything! Puffs, yogurt melts, cheerios, all stage 3 baby foods, grapes, strawberries, melon, crackers, wafers, bread.. you eat it all plus more. You're still averaging 30oz of formula a day, plus 3 solid meals plus snacks.

You're favorite toy right now varies, but you still love Sophie and the Fisher Price Roll Along Bongo Drum thingies.. you chase those all over the house. You also love to blow raspberries!

You go to bed between 8-9pm, and on weekdays wake up by 7:30am, weekends you sleep in a bit and don't get up until after 9am (yay!). You still take 3 naps a day usually, sometimes only 2.

You're going to be a boy, in all meanings of the word. You love dirt, leaves, trees, grass. Your favorite things to do outside is to play in your baby pool, go for a walk in the stroller, and crawl around playing with dirt. I must admit I LOVE this about you. I'm not a girly girl and I couldn't imagine having to play pretty princess. I'd rather hang out outside anyday.

You have your first girlfriend.. not really, but it's cute. Little Maxine is a younger woman by about 6 months, but she sure has eyes for you, little man.

All in all you're steadily making my heart grow more and more every day. You're my favorite man, and I wouldn't change a thing about you.

8 Month Letter

Dear Aidan,

Oh geez, boy. You have mommy busy! Even now I'm writing your letter 2 weeks late. Soon I'll be composing your 9 month letter!

You are still the light of my life. I can't think of any saying to describe it, other than that. You absolutely radiate love every single time I come home from work, and every time you see your father. You've gained a long laundry list of things you do, and do well.

• crawling, real, fast, full on crawling
• pulling up to stand on anything you can get your hands on
• eating more and more table food. you are a ninja and grab things off of our plates without us noticing until we see you chewing!
• saying Mama now, but only occasionally and not really directed at me
• you point at what you want
• you reach out to people for a hug
• eating between 32-40oz a day plus 3 meals of solids (which I'm about to up the solids some, you've been out-eating my servings for a while but I just now noticed)
• you're starting to "dance" when you hear music you like, you semi-jump and wiggle your whole body

As you can see you're growing in leaps and bounds. You're everything I ever dreamed I would have in a son. Keep on being amazing, it helps mommy through rough days.

Love Always,

Your Momma

My Apologies

I'm so sorry for not blogging a lot lately. I'm really trying to work on it. Things just got a bit overwhelming there for a while. We were all sick, work got busy which took it's toll on my moods, and Aidan is teething and starting seperation anxiety (even with me sitting right there, he wants constant attention it seems like!). Time on the computer at home has been limited to say the least.

Oh well, things have smoothed out some so I'm back in the game.

Updates on Aidan:

• 7.5 months.
• 2 bottom teeth, 2 top teeth pending (they are visible through the gums but not yet broken through)
• army crawls like a pro
• gets on hands and knees and hangs out, rocks back and forth a lot
• loves to stand now. on the couch holding onto the back, on the floor holding onto the cushion, on our laps holding onto our shoulders, etc
• loves to jump on people, not so much in his jumperoo. he will happily sit on our laps and kick his legs for an hour, easy, making himself bounce up and down
• still eats like a champ. 40oz of formula a day plus 2-3 solids a day
• sleep is still good.. usually 12 hours a night.
• bedtimes are getting rough though with teething + seperation anxiety. he has a big issue when i lay him down and then leave the room! we're working on it though.
• he gives big huge belly laughs now when he gets excited. he also FINALLY is starting to take interest in holding his own bottle. I still feed him but afterwards I let him play with it and he can now hold it up on his own and suck.

Adventures In Teething

Oh good lord Aidan is teething his top 2 teeth, at the same time. Last night in our house around 6:30pm the world ended.

He was rubbing his eyes, obviously tired. I fed him his bottle at 6:30 to prepare to bedtime at 7. Screaming insued so I laid him down closer to 6:30 than 7. Hysterical screaming. Not good. I'm game with letting him fuss lightly for 5-10 minutes because it will always fall asleep, but this.. this was full on "oh my god I'm dying" screaming. I got him right back up. Bounce, rock, play.. screaming through the whole thing. He looks like he has two peas shoved in his upper gums, they are super painfully swollen.

He wouldn't take a teether, and wouldn't calm down. Motrin, here we come! Gave him a dose and held/bounced/walked around for 30 minutes to let it take effect. Tried to lay him down again. Hysterical screaming.

Got him back up, gave him 2 teething tablets. He calmed down for about, oh, 30 seconds. Hysterical screaming in my arms. Took him outside to walk around, he was quiet outside but still groaning and rubbing his eyes. After about 20 minutes tried to lay him down again. Hysterical screaming. (Are you seeing where this is going yet?)

Got him up again. Rubbed some baby orajel on his top gums. He proceeded to make all sorts of funny faces, and even cracked a smile at one point. But 10 minutes later, hysterical screaming. At this point I will not lie. I was so distraught I had tears in my eyes. My child NEVER behaves this way. I could see in his face how miserable he was and all I wanted was to make him feel better but nothing was working! Poor little butt was clinging to me so tightly I could have let go and he would still be hanging there.

I ended up bounce/swaying in a circle (directly in a circle, like a carosel) for 20 minutes while he nodded off slowly. At this point it was 9. I was shot. He was shot. The cats were so far in hiding I wouldn't be surprised if they were in another country. Mike was sitting on the couch cheering me on giving me updates on if his eyes were closed everytime I turned to where he could see him. After 20 minutes he was asleep... My arms were numb and my back ached. But by God the child was ASLEEP! I laid him down, and he slept through the night. Now I'm praying that those two teeth come through today.

Now some pictures, he's 7.5 months now. Sitting on his own (but he prefers not to). Up on his knees rocking all the time. Army crawling like a pro. LOVES to stand, he is even trying to let go of the couch/chair/hands/etc to try it on his own.. and can do it for a few seconds before falling into a happy, giggly pile. Usually a very happy, smiley baby!

Thankful On Thursday

Today I'm thankful for many things.

1) Aidan army crawling all around. It makes things so much more fun to see him more mobile and getting into things!

2) My best friend having a healthy, perfect little baby. Maxine Ember was born 6/16 at 5:24pm 7lb 9oz and 19 3/4" long.

3)Aidan napping longer and more regularly now that he's scooting all around. All the activty wears him out and the extra napping helps keep him happy.

4) Mike, so working hard and helping to provide our family with what we need.

Photo Update

6 Month Letter

Dear Aidan,

You're now 6 months 2 weeks, technically. But mommy has been too busy being sick and loving on you to write this until now! This past month has been great for the most part.

You had your first illness. You contracted a virus somehow and had diarrhea for over a week. It was horrible! You even had fevers. After a visit to the pediatrician we amped you up with pedialyte and infant motrin and we made it through. A few days later daddy got sick with fevers and a sore throat. He was ill for a week. The mommy got sick with the same thing. The daddy got sick again for 2 weeks. Then mommy for another week. And now daddy has the same thing yet again. THANK GOODNESS you managed to avoid our illnesses. We can't complain because the entire time we were/are sick you were such an angel baby. Giving us plenty of hugs and playing independently quietly so we could lounge on the couch in misery.

You are still working on sitting up. You can do it, but most of the time you choose not to. Youare definitely army scrawling now. We have a 4'x6' rug and you scoot all over it and even off of it. Your new favorite thing is to scoot your toys to the edge of the rug by the couch and shove them under it. Then try to crawl under the couch to get them. It's quite adorable but mommy is getting rug burn from trying to reach under the couch all the time to retrieve your toys!

You eat solids foods now 3 times a day. And you are even expirimenting with stage 3 foods. You're loving the added textures and flavors! You're still in size 3 diapers, but you now we 9 months clothes and 12 month clothes!!

Our love for you has grown so much lately. You laugh at everything and get the biggest smile when you first see us in the mornings. I never knew how much it was possible to love a small child who can't even walk, feed themselves, dress themselves, talk, etc. You have SUCH an amazing personality. You never meet a stranger. On my darkest days a simple smile and you huggin me tight as I hold you makes it all better. You are the definition of love and I can't believe we made you. Keep on growing, scooter-butt, and remember mommy and daddy will always love you more than you know.

Love Always,
Mommy

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Memorial Day Everyone!

6 Months

First off, sorry for my absence. My great grandmother has cancer, and my grandfather had surgery, and I've just been flat out busy!

Aidan is SIX MONTHS OLD NOW! 18lb5oz, 27 3/4 inches long! :)

I am at work so I can't say much, but I will post an update with substance tonight!

Q&A Answer # 2, 3, &4

What has been your most memorable mom experience so far?? :
This is a hard question. It's SO MEMORABLE when he first smiled, rolled over, laughed, got a tooth, ate solid food, etc. I guess the best would be the first ime he said mama. I know he doesn't associate "mama" with me, but it still broke my heart and made my heart whole all at the same time.


Have you gone back on anything you said you'd never do as a mom? Like, "I'll never let him cry it out for even 5 minutes"???
By all means, YES! I swore I'd never bed share. And we did for 3 months. I swore we'd never let him cry for more than 2-3 minutes, and even though we didn't for the first few months we have since then and he falls to sleep now on his own. And he is happy playing on his own. He's goign through a small bout of seperation anxiety since he's close to 6 months but nothing 2-3 minutes of FUSSING (not crying) can cure. Very rarely does he actually cry for us before we are there. I swore I wouldn't dominate conversation with things about my pregnancy, baby, etc. And I so do. But only with people who ASK for it. It's a hard habit to break! I'm just so proud!


How do you like being a working mother? What is the most amazing change you've noticed in yourself since having Aidan?
I like being a working mother as could be expected. I'm clinically depressed. I cry at work all the time the first time I feel the least bit stressed. I am MEANT to be at home with my baby. But due to finances for the tim being I'm stuck at work. It is HARD and i HATE IT but I do it because I have no choice. As this poiint in our lives the best thing I can do is work so he has a home, and toys, and clothes, and food, etc.

And the most amazing change has been my EMOTIONS. I cry over everything! I ooh and ahh over other babies and pregnancies where as before it was like "oh, okay, cool". It's WEIRD how far of a range my emotions have now.